Harry and Voldie Episode 3: Faked
by Ravenclaw2
Summary: An unregistered wizard attracts the attention of the gang. Some slapstick violence.  Note: Episode name in first chapter is worng. The episode is called Faked.
1. Chapter 1

**Harry and Voldie Episode 3**

All credits go to J.K. Rowling.

Episode 3: Sick Day

Harry: *sits on the couch with Tom and Ginny* Achooflbt!

Ginny: You okay Harry?

Harry: Yeah. Just some weird sneezes. Probably nothing. Maybe… Nah. It couldn't be.

Tom: What?

Harry: For a second I thought it was the Wizard Flu. Can't be though. We don't have it, and neither do Ron and Hermione. There aren't any registered wizards here either.

Ginny: Do you think there are unregistered wizards here?

Harry: No. I'd know. I tried to see if there were but my magic detector isn't working.

Tom: Magic detector?

Harry: I made before I went to Hogwarts. I had just watched some movie about magic and wizards and there was a science fair coming up so I decided to build one.

Tom: And you still have it?

Harry: Sure I do. *Pulls cardboard remote looking device from his pocket.* Now I know why it didn't work.

Tom: *under his breath* Because it's cardboard? *cue laugh track*

Harry: No. It's because I forgot to put tin-foil over it. *Puts tin-foil over the cardboard* Now it should work.

Tom: It's not gonna- whoa! *Magic Detector flies towards his face* Get it off! Get it off! *cue laugh track*

(Title Sequence and Hedwig's theme play. After that,. The camera shows Harry in Times Square with his magic detector)

Harry: Nope. Zip. Nada. No. Zilch. Not a single reading. Wait a minute. I got something! Woo-hoo!

(Passersby stare at Harry)

Harry: Umm. Just won something in a raffle. Carry on. *shoos them away. Cue laugh track* Okay. Warmer. Warmer. *walks along following the signal coming from the Magic Detector* Cold. Cold. Back to warm. Hot! Burning lava! Magma! *shoos away the next group of strange looks and giggles. Stops when the Magic Detector starts beeping at a furious rate.* A pub eh? I have to go tell Ron!

(Camera shows the outside of Harry's apartment building and plays the first notes of Hedwig's Theme)

Harry: *arrives at Ron's door* Ron! Ron! Come out here quick!

Ron: *opens door* What is it?

Harry: I caught something on the Magic Detector just outside a pub in Times Square!

Ron: No way! Let's go! Just let me get my Magic Detector.

Hermione: Who's that Ron?

Ron: It's Harry. He found something on the Magic Detector.

Hermione: Oh really? Where was it?

Ron: Outside a pub in Times Square. Gotta go. Love you! *closes door as he runs out of the apartment with Harry.

Tom: *appears from behind a corner* There's more than one of those things? *cue laugh track*


	2. Commercial Parody 3

*Commercial Break*

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	3. Chapter 3

**Harry and Voldie Episode 3 Part 2**

(Camera shows Ron and just outside the tavern with their Magic Detectors)

Harry: Ready Ron?

Ron: Yup. On 3.

Harry and Ron: 1, 2, 3! *both bust through the door with their Magic Detectors*

Harry: There's no one here. *closes door behind them* Lumos!

Ron: Lumos! Ahhh!

Harry: What?

Ron: There's a homeless man right here! *Gestures to man sleeping on the floor of the dilapidated pub.*

Harry: *holds the Magic Detector to the sleeping man. The Detector starts beeping madly* This is the wizard. Look at his beard. Reminds me of Dumbledore. No. Can't be. He was killed years ago.

Ron: Only one way we can tell. WAKE UP HOBO! *cue laugh track*

Homeless Man: Aaaahh! Fawkes! Sherbet Lemon! Ten-pin Bowling! What?

Harry: Dumbledore?

Homeless Man: Harry and Ron. Strange seeing you here. How have you been?

Harry: Fine.

Ron: Same here. What about you? Why are you sleeping on the floor of a tavern?

Dumbledore: *sighs* I can't lie to you guys. I faked my death and hid here. It seems cowardly at first glance but I ran Order operations from here. I was able to orchestrate the Order's actions from here. After the War ended I felt ashamed for leaving everyone in their time of need. Another Order death was faked. LUPIN!

( Lupin appears from the darkness in a corner of the tavern.)

Lupin: Harry and Ron! What the devil are you doing here?

Harry: I moved here after I defeated Voldemort. Well I didn't defeat him entirely. He kind of lives in my apartment at the moment. *cue laugh track*

Lupin: What? He killed your parents! He almost killed you!

Harry: It's only to keep tabs on him. It's not a permanent thing either. I'll be the first to know if he's plotting anything.

Lupin: But. Bu- Oh fine. But at the slightest problem Dumbledore and I will kill him.

Harry: Fine. Anyways, you look like you could use something to eat. And a proper living area. Not some dilapidate- Whoa!

(Dumbledore waves his wand and the tavern turns into a cozy flat.)

Ron: That is the coolest trick. You have to show me how to do that.

Harry: Well I guess you have a place to live. *looks around and sees a refrigerator and a pantry* And you're not looking to bad food-wise. But you have to come over to our apartment! Ginny and Hermione would be delighted to see you.

Dumbledore: Why not? What do you say Lupin?

Lupin: Of course I'll come along. Did you say Ginny and Hermione? Are you like dating or what?

Harry: Ginny and I are married and we have two children. They're in London visiting Mrs. Weasley's at the moment but they'll be here next week. I'd love for you to see them.

Dumbledore: And that makes you married to Mrs. Granger. Or should I say Mrs. Weasley.

Lupin: Well what are we talking here for? Let's go!

(Harry, Dumbledore, Ron, and Lupin walk out of the tavern and into Harry's car.)


	4. Commercial Parody 4

*Commercial Break*

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Announcer: Together with Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans and Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor, we're giving away two Firebolt 2010's! To win one you can either buy the new Mystery Beans boxes and guess the flavor correctly, or you can buy the Limited Edition Florean Fortescue Brand Ice Cream Tubs, and get the lucky sticker on the back of the lid. Don't fret if you don't win. You can still buy the new Firebolt 2010 from our shop located just across the street from Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. Firebolt 2010's now just $30 Galleons!


	5. Chapter 5

**Harry and Voldie Episode 3 Part 3**

(Camera shows Harry's apartment building as the first notes of Hedwig's Theme play. Camera then shows the gang inside Harry, Ginny, and Tom's apartment)

Dumbledore: So what's new Tom?

Tom: Nothing much. Just got a job at the New York Coffery. I just got Nagini defanged.

Dumbledore: I see.

Ginny: Dinner's ready!

Harry: Yum!

Hermione: So what have you two been up to?

Lupin: Nothing major. Just looking for unregistered wizards. We are going to travel cross-country by Muggle means next month looking for any unregistered wizards and possible Death Eaters. You know. Order stuff. We're undercover with the Auror department which is why we aren't registered in this country. Leave it to the ingenious Harry Potter to find two supposedly dead wizards.

Harry: It was nothing. I thought I had the Wizard Flu for a moment which lead me to do some searching with my Magic Detector.

Ron: Hey I helped too! *tears up*

Hermione: Calm down Ron. We've been through this. *cue laugh track* He was just about to mention your involvement wasn't he? *looks at Harry*

Harry: Yes. I was Ron. I told Ron about the readings I found around your flat and then we found you guys.

Dumbledore: No matter how great the feat, you mustn't tell anyone we're alive. It is imperative to our mission.

Ron: *stands up and salutes* Sir, yes, sir! * cue laugh track* Oh. Got carried away for a second.

(Screen shows the words: 3 Hours Later and then returns to Harry's apartment.)

Lupin: Well I'm afraid we must leave now.

Dumbledore: Quite right Remus.

Harry: Well we hope to see you soon.

Lupin: As do we.

Dumbledore: That was a delightful meal Mrs. Potter.

Ginny: Don't mention it. Anything for you Dumbledore.

Harry: Definitely.

Ron: See you guys!

(Lupin and Dumbledore leave the apartment)

Hermione: I guess we should get going now.

Ron: But I thought we could have a house party.

Hermione: No house parties Ron.

Ron: Can I at least stay and watch Jimmy Fallon?

Tom: *gasps* You watch Jimmy Fallon too?

Ron: All the time! *high-fives Tom*

Hermione: Alright Ron. But I want back in our apartment the time it ends.

Ron: Thank you. *kisses Hermione on cheek and sits on the couch with Tom and Harry* Goodnight Mom!

Hermione: What?

Ron: Sorry my mistake. Goodnight honey!

(Hermione leaves the room and Ginny goes into her room)

Harry: I know I get 'em mixed up all the time!

End of Episode 3


End file.
